


in an ideal world (everything's just swell)

by ErisDea



Series: The WinterShieldShock Babies Collection [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Reality, F/M, Fluff, Foursome - F/F/M/M, Polyamory, Pregnancy, Questionable Paternity, Sort of AoU compliant, but that’s okay they’re cool with it, that’s gonna be one spoiled and overprotected baby, they’re going to raise that baby together all four of them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-20 09:53:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6001624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ErisDea/pseuds/ErisDea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Barefoot and pregnant wasn’t a position Darcy ever envisioned herself being in. Well, she’d envisioned herself with children, sure, but in her mind, they’d come into her life fully-formed and grown already, a little boy and a little girl in neatly-pressed suits wearing glasses, standing a bit behind her while she accepted her nomination as President of the United States of America.</p><p>But now here she is, ‘resting’ on the couch with her shoes off and enjoying the bowl of ice cream propped up by her huge belly while watching her shirtless dark-haired boyfriend doing one-armed pushups a few feet away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	in an ideal world (everything's just swell)

**Author's Note:**

> Not really a V-Day fic, but my headcanon for this story is that they all hooked up on Valentine's Day at some point and sort of just never stopped hooking up. And then one day they looked up and realized they were practically living together, had dinner together when they could, talked about their day and their pasts and their hopes for the future... and essentially realized they were in a relationship.
> 
> Also, Bucky is the one who makes it an official relationship, because Steve is an awkward duckling when it comes to personal attachments, Natasha doesn't want to risk rocking the boat and getting heartbroken again (because this is sort of AoU compliant) and Darcy has self-esteem issues due to who they are and what they can do. And after everything, Bucky has become a carpe diem sort of guy, especially when it comes to things he wants for himself. (I won't talk about how he loves wanting things and getting to have them, and how the others enable and spoil him shamelessly. It'll lead us down darker streets and this is supposed to be a nice, fluffy fic.)
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Barefoot and pregnant wasn’t a position Darcy ever envisioned herself being in. Well, she’d envisioned herself with children, sure, but in her mind, they’d come into her life fully-formed and grown already, a little boy and a little girl in neatly-pressed suits wearing glasses, standing a bit behind her while she accepted her nomination as President of the United States of America.

But now here she is, ‘resting’ on the couch with her shoes off and enjoying the bowl of ice cream propped up by her huge belly while watching her shirtless dark-haired boyfriend doing one-armed pushups a few feet away.

Actually, what she _should_ be doing is picking out baby names, because that’s what she said she’d do when she first sat down on the couch, but then Bucky decided to keep her company and took his shirt off, so the whole ‘picking out baby names’ plan went right down the drain. She has half a mind to abandon the ice cream and lure him over with the promise of sex, but the other half of said mind (clearly the more rational half) questions why she’d waste perfectly good ice cream when she can finish it while enjoying the _marvelous_ view and _then_ lure him over with the promise of sex.

Cake. Having and eating.

Well, sort of. Things would be much better if the other half of this four-way relationship was here too, but it was training day, so she shouldn’t expect them to be back until dinnertime—and that’s _if_ they aren’t called out to help ‘smooth over’ yet another global catastrophe.

Such are the perils of loving (and dating) two of the world’s famous superheroes.

She sighs, squirming to reposition herself into a different but equally comfortable position, and hisses when she accidentally squeezes her abdominal muscles and makes her spawn protest the disturbance with a sudden kick. Or maybe it was a jab; god knows one of its potential biological fathers is into beating up punching bags during his free time.

Bucky pauses and looks up at her, his right arm stretched out to hold himself up—presumably to get a better angle of her—and asks, “He kicking again or are you going into labor?”

“ _She_ is just kicking,” Darcy replies, waving a hand to indicate that she’s fine. “I keep telling you, I’ll panic so much when I start to go into labor, you won’t mistake it for anything else.”

He smiles, amused, and shakes his head as he resumes the pushups. She smiles back even though he’s no longer looking, appreciating him taking her for her word. If it was her other boyfriend here instead of Bucky, then Steve would still be panicking a little at the thought of her finally popping out what might be his spawn too. Then again, Steve worrying that she was about to give birth might still be leagues better than Natasha thinking the same thing, considering it was the redhead (and it _had_ to be Nat, because Steve and Bucky had been just as surprised as she was on the matter) who literally hid several ‘Darcy is in labor, she’ll need everything in here’ go-bags in all the available hidey holes around the house, go-bags that each include two sets of maternity wear, two sets of baby clothes, a sling pouch, a baby bottle, formula container, a breast-pump, diapers, baby powder, wet wipes, five protein bars, two burner phones, two earwigs, two disassembled guns with six spare ammo clips and a gun cleaning kit.

Sadly, the only item in those bags that doesn’t make sense is the gun cleaning kit (like, what does Natasha expect, that she’d be disassembling a gun and cleaning it while pushing a watermelon-sized baby out of her vagina?); the rest might actually come in handy in case of ‘worst case, life-threatening, non-medical emergencies’. Steve’s words of reason, not hers.

Also sad is the fact that after another ten or so sets, Bucky finally finishes with his pushups and heads into the shower to cool off, leaving Darcy alone with her bowl of ice cream. Her source of entertainment gone, Darcy sighs and demolishes what’s left of her snack (because Steve and Bucky will give her that _look_ again if she doesn’t), and then heads into the kitchen to wash her bowl and spoon. It’s about time she got up anyway, and hey, while she’s here, she can pull out what she wants to eat for dinner.

(And no, she doesn’t mean she’s going to _cook_ , ha ha, hell no. Cooking is about the only chore Darcy Lewis cannot do, as the only kitchen appliances that don’t break or go haywire at her touch are the coffee machine, the toaster and the microwave; hence why Jane and Erik used to live off Poptarts, coffee and takeout back when she was the one taking care of them and they were deep in the Science Zone, unable to fend for themselves.)

(So yeah, she just pulls out the frozen stuff she wants to have cooked for dinner tonight and leaves it at that.)

She grimaces again as the little spawn squirms and makes the skin of her belly literally shifting at the movement, the amazing-but-kinda-disgusting feeling familiar to her by now. (No, seriously, _you_ try watching a foot or an elbow or a hand protrude from your insides. Miracle of life or not, you’d find that pretty damn freaky too.)

“Settle down, kid,” she tells the little tyke, smoothing a hand over the side where she _thinks_ the head currently is. “I’m just taking dinner out. Don’t get too excited.”

She’s not sure if it’s a sign of understanding or if the baby’s just soothed at the sound of her voice, but it _does_ stop wriggling. For the moment, anyway; she _swears_ that Steve must be her baby’s biological daddy, considering how restless the baby in question can get.

“You’re not supposed to be up,” Bucky chides her as she’s pulling up the recipe on the kitchen tablet. “What part of ‘rest’ do you not understand?”

“What part of ‘sitting for too long is not good for pregnant women’ don’t _you_ understand?” she retorts, and takes care to keep her tone playful instead of snappy. Bucky can take the words, but not if he thinks she’s upset or being deliberately nasty about it. “Besides, it’s rest from stress, not from physical activity. I can walk around if I want.”

“I just keep thinking he’s gonna slide right out,” he admits as he comes up from behind her and slides his hands around to feel her belly, a mix of truth and amusement in his tone. “I don’t want head trauma to be his first experience out in the world beyond your uterus.”

“…I think you need to read the birthing section of the parenting books again,” she deadpans, because _wow_ , the mental image of her just standing around like an imbecile while her baby exits her body is doing wonders for her, for sure.

Bucky chuckles and presses a kiss to her ear. “I love you,” he tells her, and though she’s aware that this is one of his more effective means of derailing a conversation, Darcy allows it, because a) they were just bantering and not discussing gravely significant things, and b) she really, really, _really_ likes hearing him say that.

Ugh, she’s so in love it’s almost disgusting.

“I love you— Ow!” she winces, feeling another kick trying to poke a hole through the skin of her belly, right where Bucky’s hand is. “Kid, I swear to god, if you don’t stop kicking me—”

“He’s just lookin’ for some attention, calm down,” Bucky grins at her, turning her around and getting on his knees, his hands moving back into place and pressing in gently. “Aren’t you, kiddo?” The baby gives another kick that Bucky catches this time, so it doesn’t ache as badly as the others did, though she _swears_ her whole body moves with the damn motion, _ugh_. “Atta boy.”

Darcy can’t help but smile, the adorableness of the moment getting to her. “What a Daddy’s girl,” she grins, prompting him to level a sour look at her.

“Don’t even joke about that,” he tells her. “He’s a boy. Tell her kiddo.” Another prod from her insides towards Bucky’s hand has her boyfriend beaming at her. “See?”

“I see,” she agrees, holding back the smirk that’s itching to appear on her face. “Then I guess we really can go with Zack as a name, huh?”

“Zack?” Bucky asks, but then the confusion on his face is replaced by realization. “Damn it, Darce—”

“Zachary Taylor,” she tells him gleefully, continuing down the list of presidents she’d already doled out, just for occasions like this. “Zack for short.”

“No,” he sighs, rolling his eyes.

“Millard Fillmore?” she suggests, laughter in her tone.

“What if it’s a girl?” he points out, which is a bit of a surprise, considering how much he wanted the baby to be a boy. (Because a daughter who was anything like him or her—or worse, _Steve_ —would apparently send him to an early grave.)

“We can call her Millie,” Darcy smirks, and feels ridiculously pleased when that ekes a surprised laugh out of him.

“You’re ridiculous,” he tells her, getting up and pressing a kiss to her lips. “You’re lucky you’re adorable.”

“Said the guy who got on his knees to talk to his unborn kid,” she points out, raising an eyebrow, and she can see a slight flush rising on his cheeks.

“M’not adorable,” he mutters, and she grins at his self-conscious appearance.

“Now who’s being ridiculous?” she asks, and tugs him down before he can reply, kissing his lips briefly to derail whatever protest he’s come up with. “C’mon, daddy-o,” she says, smiling. “I wanna take a nap before dinner. You can read to the spawn if you want.”

Another blush stains his cheeks, and this time, she knows it’s because of the D-word. “Okay,” Bucky agrees easily, ever malleable whenever the D-word is used, and lets her lead him towards the bedroom.

(She grins fondly at the ridiculous man when he decides to read his history textbook aloud, and drifts off to the sound of him describing the last days of the American Civil War to their no-longer-squirming offspring.)

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah, just a bit of fluff to get us all by. Let me know if I missed a tag or anything like that! Hope you liked it =D
> 
> P.S.: on a totally unrelated note, news on epic romance and myself can be found on [my tumblr account](http://erisdea.tumblr.com).


End file.
